Episode Three - Gwendolyn's Gossip

EPISODE THREE

MEDUSA: Hello, darlings! Medusa Gorgon's Academy welcomes you, and your quazar! It's good to see you again! All you have to do is pay your full tuition. You're here often enough so why not throw a little money our way? I'm kidding, I'm kidding. Not really. The conversation today is all about politics in the Witching World. Our guest speaker is the anarchist leader of the Witching World known as the Shady Witch Dude King or SWDK Inc. He's the villain so he's important to the story. Listen at your own peril.

MUSIC: THEME SONG.

SOUNDSCAPE: MAGIC SCHOOL STUDY SESSION AMBIENCE.

GWENDOLYN: Hello world! My name is Gwendolyn Fairchild and I'm at the Medusa Gorgon's Academy with my excuse for a boyfriend, Daedalus. Say hi to the listeners, darling!

DAEDALUS: Hi, listeners.

GWENDOLYN: That's enough. We're here because we got jobs here! It's great! We get to continue our freelance anarchy for the Shady Witch Dude King jobs but we also get paid teacher's salaries! And--and--and we get to recruit new students to the dark side! Who wouldn't want to join us? We have fresh baked cookies!

DAEDALUS: You specialise in faerie cakes, darling.

GWENDOLYN: I know that, darling, but they don't.

DAEDALUS: Right.

GWENDOLYN: What am I going to do with you?

POPPY: What'cha doing?

GWENDOLYN: Just a meeting with the Shady Witch Dude King. Care to join us?

POPPY: Sure. I'm already following him on Twatter and Fakebook, why not in real life too?

GWENDOLYN: Excellent. Always good to have a new person on board. (LOW) And I get the referral bonus.

DAEDALUS: Whatever. I don't care

GWENDOLYN: Yeah, like I believe that.

SHADY DUDE: (BOOMING VOICE) I have come to grace you with my presence. Tremble before me, mere mortals.

GWENDOLYN: Hurray!!! He's coming.

DAEDALUS: (UNENTHUSED) Hurray. He's coming.

SOUND EFFECT: TARDIS SOUNDS.

GWENDOLYN: Hello, lord!...Welcome back!...You're here!...Are you going to stay here?

SHADY DUDE: Do not question your lord! (LOW) I hate this spell.

POPPY: Then here's an idea: don't use it.

SHADY DUDE: What do you know?

POPPY: More than you.

SHADY DUDE: Tell your...friend...that she is out of line. I was a Council Elder before they kicked me off and I don't need someone telling me what I should do.

POPPY: Fine. If you want to keep casting a half-baked spell, be my guest.

SHADY DUDE: You have a lot of guts, missy. (PAUSE) I like you. You will make a fine addition to my army.

POPPY: Cool.

SHADY DUDE: Very good. Is that all? Or have you done something of significance since the last time we spoke?

GWENDOLYN: I recruited someone. And doesn't recruiting people earn me a bonus?

SHADY DUDE: Yes, yes. Fine, fine. You shall receive a bonus on your next check.

GWENDOLYN: Thank you, your lordship.

SHADY DUDE: Sure. If that's all...

GWENDOLYN: Yep!

DAEDALUS: (LOW) If you listened to her podcast, you wouldn't have to check in on us every week like an overprotective parent.

SHADY DUDE: Did you hear something?

GWENDOLYN: I don't think so. Did you?

SHADY DUDE: Strange. I don't hear it now so it must have been my imagination. Oh well. Until next week.

GWENDOLYN: I look forward to it!

SOUND EFFECT: TARDIS SOUNDS.

GWENDOLYN: So long!...Farewell!..Au-revoir!...Good-night!...Okay looks like he's gone.

DAEDALUS: You're a fiend.

GWENDOLYN: Darling, I'm so much more than that. I'm fey! And fey get the job done! Especially if they have a boyfriend like mine. Now, let's go trick some students into making a warlock pact with me.

MUSIC: THEME SONG.

MEDUSA: Welcome. To Medusa Gorgon's Academy for Young Witches. A podcast about teachers figuring out how best to shape students' minds so they are easy to bend to the anarchist's will. Teachers named Gwendolyn Fairchild who's actually Cara Hall, Daedalus Marinos who's actually Michael McMullen, Poppy Adda who's actually Stephanie Harrison, and Shady Witch Dude King who's actually Nicholas Crossman. Today's all school announcement: the curse fits the person. And the story. You can become a FULL student of our school by going to patreon.com/rachelrauch. If you do, you could hear us name you as a student in the podcast. That way we can make sure you're paying the correct amount for the tuition. But your support by word of mouth means just as much as any financial means. Use hashtag MedusaGorgonsRoundTable and spread the word by mouthcraft, the craft of the mouth. I said what I said. Ta-ta for now! Keep calm and witch on.